KPTZ2 TMF 006: Maybe he was onto something
by KP-TZ2
Summary: We are not alone...and, they've been here, watching and observing.  All the time he was paranoid...were they really against him?  The transmission, and the commercial!
1. Introduction

**KP-TZ - The Middleton Files: **_**Maybe he was onto something**_

Disclaimer/Author's Notes: Kim Possible and all the characters of the show are owned by the Disney Company. All other characters are the creations of the TZ2-KP team, and may not be used without their express permission. Any other characters created for this tale are mine alone. So there.

This is a strictly not-for-profit effort

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Maybe he was onto something…

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Static is heard while a snowy, disjointed view of a control room comes into focus. The voices of two individuals suddenly are heard, while looking over a control panel to what looks like a teleportation platform. While viewing the platform from behind a control panel the following conversation is heard:

"Ok, time to recall Remi from his tenure on XJ-3, so we can de-brief him. As far as I can tell, he has been out on mission longer than any agent of ours on record. Nearly twenty cycles," said a male who placed a clipboard on an open space to the right of a keyboard made up of brightly lit panels.

"Yeah, and from what I've heard, he sometimes went way beyond his mission orders or requirements. But if he was on his own as long as he was, he may be given reprieve over breaking orders as he did As for myself, I believe he should be reprimanded for some of what he did there. I mean, he almost exposed our program of observing life on that planet from some of his actions," replied a female control board technician.

"It's not for me to say, but if I were his superiors, I definitely would not come down too hard on him for how his mission turned out, especially after leaving him isolated for so long. I mean, really its been cycles! He was on his own, galaxy's from home, completely cut off from the moment he was teleported there, until he was about to be retrieved! If it was me left out there like that with no ties to home for so long, there's no telling how far out of my mind I'd be upon retrieval!" returned clipboard guy.

"I know, but instead of just gathering information on his target for our intel group to have for further incursions into that world, he started interacting with him. At times he nearly drove the poor creature insane, leaving him with untold bouts of paranoia and fear of nearly everything around him! Not to mention, at times he followed his subject around and tormented him in other guises, too!" countered the female control board technician.

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(Director) cue the ticking clock...

(Director) cue the music…and...

ACTION!

(The camera zooms in on the back of the chair in the room filled with computers and monitors, several of them with orbital maps displayed and transmission information streaming across the screens. The chair swivels to face the camera with a young man, dressed in a white lab coat.

"Good evening: I'm Dr. Wade Agamemnon Load. Sorry for not noticing you earlier, but, as you can see, I'm in the middle of a unique sitch:

"Submitted for your consideration:

"Alien contact, and they appear to be preparing to transfer someone, or something, from Earth.

"But, who are they, and who or what do they want?

"Does this involve Kim and Ron? Are we dealing with some sort of Lowardian technology, left in the ruins of their crashed spaceship? So far, the signals don't match. What are we dealing with?" Wade stared at a data stream, then sat down quickly, almost falling into his chair.

"It's about to get very interesting, indeed, if what I think is happening is confirmed,

"On tonight's episode of **KP-TZ - The Middleton Files:**

"_**Maybe he was onto something**_."

(Director) "CUT! That's a wrap! Thank you, Dr. Load."

(Dr. Load) "Silence, please! This is a critical phase….gotcha! I'm in and…wow," was all he would say as he stared at the monitor sunken in his desk.

(Director) "What is it, Dr. Load?"

(Dr. Load) You need to turn off the cameras…NOW!


	2. Chapter 2

**KP-TZ - The Middleton Files: **_**Maybe he was onto something**_

Disclaimer/Author's Notes: _**Kim Possible**_ and all the characters of the show are owned by the Walt Disney Corporation. _**The Twilight Zone**_ was created by Rod Serling; all rights to _**The Twilight Zone**_ are owned by Viacom. All other characters are the creations of the TZ2-KP team, and may not be used without their express permission.

This is a strictly not-for-profit effort

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"That's true; doing that was quite a bit overboard on Remi's part, but what are you gonna do when you lose any semblance of familiarity or connection to what is known to you and have to make it up as you go along, just to keep your sanity. But, still in all, Remi did report before teleporting out that his subject had gotten stabilized with help from a certain few close friends of his and the subject's future looks to be in good hands. No harm, in the end, no foul, right?" replied clipboard guy.

"No harm? No foul? Oh, come on! The first time Remi met up with his subject, he unnerved the poor little guy so badly that he crashed his three-wheeled transportation and wet himself in the process! Then Remi somehow turned on a ground watering device, thoroughly soaking the little boy for an hour, while his parents were away on a short trip into the local population center! The trauma factor alone from that introduction scarred the poor boy for years! Not to mention, his parents didn't believe him, and blamed the wetting episode on his imagination running away on him and turning on the watering device to cover his embarrassment!"

"Well that introduction was a bit outside of usual parameters for setting up observation of subjects."

"Oh, yeah? Ya think? Then, how about when Remi followed his subject for a couple of months to a sleep-over site and took the form of a pole-shaped object there?"

"So, what about that? What could he have done there like that, except to observe him in that environment?"

"What happened? What happened?! I'll tell you what happened! While in that form, Remi somehow got some of the woodland creatures, and the site mascot to attack and antagonize the poor creature the whole time. On top of that, no one believed the little guy, further which lead his fellow humans to contribute their own form of torture to Remi's **SUBJECT OF OBSERVATION**, that's what happened!"

"Oh yeah, I can see where Remi went way outside his orders to only observe his subject and record his behavior and the behavior of those around him," conceded the clipboard guy.

"Then, there's the time Remi took the form of a plaything that children would ride for a few time periods in front of a shopping facility in the subject's home population center. Remember how that turned out?"

"Yeah, I do. I can see that he shouldn't have done that. I mean when the episode was over, his subject was left with a tremendous fear of mechanical devices, lost a tooth and nearly wet himself again. That definitely went beyond his orders," again conceding the point to his compatriot.

"Well, how about the fact that when both met up again at his subject's home, any further interaction between the two resulted in the little guy freezing up and running away, screaming in fear?"

"Now some of that is not Remi's fault. Over the cycles, the subject's mother was constantly setting up confrontations between Remi and his subject. I'm sure that much of the blame for the results from these confrontations can't be placed solely at Remi's feet. I mean, he was sometimes forced into this and shouldn't be blamed for what he had no control over."

"Yeah, but we almost lost Remi and he almost blew his cover when his subject was ordered to cleanup that home storage facility."

"How was it Remi's fault for any of that? I mean, all that happened was that blob of bioplasm didn't hurt him when it ingested Remi. After it dissolved everything in that room, it spit Remi out when it was done."

"I know, but don't you think that he, being the only thing that survived being devoured by a gelatinous bio-hazardous blob, would have made those people who witnessed this somewhat suspicious of what he was made of, or of the possibility that he may not have been from their planet?!

"Well, he did dodge a bullet on that incident, but it was chalked up to 'just one of those things' when it was all said and done. Now isn't it time to retrieve Remi from his assignment on XJ-3?," queried clipboard guy.

"Yeah, it is. He's been enroute since just before you walked in here. You know, it's funny about this teleportation process of ours," mused the operator.

"What's that?"

"Well, in order to be sure that there are no problems with retrieving someone, the system is only able to lock onto the form of the subject as they were originally sent out. That way there is no chance of accidentally locking onto something other than our target."

"Yeah, I can see that. If the subject sent out changes over time in any way, the teleportation system would not have any information of those changes, and we could miss taking him or her, and teleport something else instead."

"Right, and due to how he was transported to that planet, he has to return in the same form . You do remember that light travels faster than solid objects in this process, so during the time we have been talking about him, he has been in transit the whole time?" responded the board operator.

"I know, so he should be here any moment now. That teleportation from XJ-3 is quite long, but nothing compared to the length of time he spent on that planet.. He should be so glad to return home after such a long time away."

"From his last couple of mission reports it could be seen that he was glad that his mission was completed, and wanted to have some time off to unwind before considering reassignment later. And here he comes… Wait a micro! What the heck is this?"

"What's wrong?"

"I'm detecting some sort of wavelength that was masked in some way and it has been riding our teleportation beam of Remi from XJ-3. Since light travels faster than solid objects in this process, it infiltrated our systems just after we initiated the retrieval of our guy. I've isolated it and should block it very soon."

"Any malicious activity resulting from this wavelength piggy-backing it's way into our systems?"

"From what I can tell, no. It just looks like some sort of non-invasive frequency. It's as if whoever sent this along with our transportation beam just wanted to record from us, not transmit to us. I can end this completely when Remi arrives."

"When will that be?"

"In about 5 micros. Ok, here he is."

At this point, the screen begins to get a little 'snowy' and static is heard as the view starts to dissolve into the familiar white out that comes with loss of transmission. But right before the screen goes completely blank, something appears on the platform in front of the control panel that is very familiar to a certain member of Team Possible: the bane of his entire childhood and much of his teen years, his really personal arch-nemesis, the Garden Gnome!

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(The camera zooms back to where the view is that of a large blacked out plasma screen. Standing off to the right of the screen and looking on is a Slurpster-armed Dr. Wade Load. Taking a drink through the bendy straw, he turns to the camera.)

"In all the years Ron Stoppable has been on this planet, he has steadfastly maintained that the yard decoration his mother purchased to add to their front lawn was evil and miles of 'bad road', as he constantly put it. That assessment wasn't correct, but after viewing this little exchange, it has become clear that he was indeed onto something."

"Now those of you who do, in fact, know Ron are aware of how his paranoia takes control of him as he runs screaming into the night with the latest phobia/bane of his existence. For those of you who aren't privy to that scene, well let's say that a completely psychotic 'running of the monkeys' sums it up nicely. But without all the flinging that goes with it."

"As to how we came to acquire this footage of the exchange that took place before 'Remi' was returned to his homeworld, let's just say that diligent scanning procedures allowed us the ability to ride the signal back to his home where it was captured from their local recording equipment before we were discovered by their security. We know about them and they now know we are aware of them as well. The proper authorities and agencies are taking steps to contact them for discussion of their intentions, but that is for another day."

"To date, Ron Stoppable has not been made aware of exactly what this episode was going to expose to the world from our files. It was thought that for him to see this episode would drive him beyond the limits of sanity, so steps have been taken to guarantee that he never learns of the details of tonight's program, either first run or in re-run. Those of you who wish to have a "Truman" moment in exposing to Ron Stoppable details of this episode will be met with technology that will silence or blank out any such utterances or displays of information regarding this episode. Not to mention his sixteen kinds of kung-fu wife, Kim Stoppable. Approach him at your own peril."

"To those of you using your own devices to record this episode for later viewing, tonight's program will not be what you will find on said recordings. Instead, what you will find is footage from the local public broadcast cable channel of Kim Stoppable's cousin Larry regaling his audience with tales from his recent foray to this summer's latest Comic-Con, while said public channel is in the midst of the latest donation drive du jour for the organization."

(The screen to Dr. Load's right displays the following exchange Larry is having with the moderator on the set. Pictures of his time at Comi-Con are on display throughout the set, with several action figures scattered around on tables surrounding the two.)

"…_Here you see a picture I took of the latest outfit for Captain Starburst when he was 'resurrected' after his last, supposedly 'fatal', encounter with Dr. Destructo at the North Pole in book number 385, earlier this spring. As you may note, the colors of his pants don't quite match the same colors of his top."_

"_That is not quite the case Larry. I can prove that this disparity in coloration between the pants and top are due to the proximity of you, the camera, the exhibit, lighting and the camera you used, as well as..." came from another voice just off-camera._

"_Don't even START with me Charlotte! Moving along, over there is…"_

(The screen goes blank again as the camera turns back to Dr. Load)

"As you can see, there will be no way an external electronic copy of this episode can be recorded for future playback. As for the in-house copy of this broadcast, it will be locked away where Ron will never see it, much less be aware of its existence.

"Now for the immediate 'human element' in this equation. There were, however, a couple of individuals who did alert Ron to the fact that he should watch tonight's episode, not knowing what specifically was in this episode. At the behest of a certain individual, they are being reminded that they should not have done such a thing as they were already warned of what could happen if Ron did learn of the true identity of the 'gnome of his existence.'"

The view changes onscreen to a house where the following exchange can be heard from outside:

"What the HECK do you mean, you mentioned to Ron that he REALLY ought to watch tonight's episode?" 'Whack' "Are you crazy?" 'Whack' "That boy is gonna fa-reak if he ever learns what Wade found out about that garden gnome!" 'Whack' "It's a good thing that Kim put out the word with friends and family about keeping Ron in the dark about that episode. It was going just fine until you spilled the beans to him this morning. I heard you on the phone discussing this with him. Now stop flying up to the ceiling and get back down here where I can smack your pointy, Zombie mashing head like you deserve! I'm tired of hitting you on your feet." 'Whack'

"C'mon baby! Stop smacking me with that rolled up newspaper! I said I was sorry." 'Whack' "Ow! Stop throwing things at me up here!"

"Well, if you would come down here I wouldn't have to chunk anything at you!" 'Whack'

"Hey, stop that! I'm coming down, so please put down that shoe."

"Don't you know what would happen if he actually found out what he had around him nearly from birth through Wannaweep and past graduation from high school? That freaky gnome-thing was responsible for just about all of that poor boy's phobia's, fears and paranoia, and if he even gets a whisper of what Wade learned, it will definitely put him in Zorpox-induced shock!" 'Whack'

"It was bad enough that he had to make a commercial for the station that involved an elf mascot for that travel agency! It took Kim a week of quiet time, a gamer's weekend at the mall, and a boatload of Nacos to get him down from the raging panic attack that came from him being within five feet of that thing! He's just about normal, well as normal as can be for Mr. 'Out of control' Paranoia!" 'Whack, whack, whack'

"Ow! Ok, please! I'm sorry and tomorrow when he asks about the episode, I'll tell him that we didn't get to see it, and couldn't record it either. But, please: stop smacking me with that newspaper!"

"Meanwhile at the house of the other individual who alerted Ron of tonight's episode," intones the voice of Dr. Load.

The view is that of another house located in a different part of Middleton:

"Now, you just had to tell Ron about tonight's episode when you were told not to mention anything to him about it, didn't you?," came the voice of a totally calm, in-control female. 'Whoooosh - Crack'

"Yes Mistress, I did, and I'm sorry. I was told to not tell him anything about this, but I felt he should have learned the truth about something that was probably responsible for the fears and paranoia he carried with him all those years. In that light I'm begging you to forgive me for disobeying your orders," replied the trembling voice of a male.

"Now why should I do that? What could you tell me that would have me forgo or reduce the punishment due you for disobeying an order I gave to you on the recommendation of Kim herself?" 'Whoooosh - Crack'

"I mean really, you know the problems Ron had with that lawn decoration and for him to see this episode tonight would probably have put him in therapy for decades." 'Crack…..Crack'

"Yes m'am, you're right, as usual," came the quiet response.

"It's not that I am 'right, as usual', it's that steps had been taken to ensure that Ron, not only would have never seen this episode, but he would never would have been made aware of this in the first place. Now we have to add in the additional punishment for what this could have done to Ron on top of the usual for disobeying my orders." 'Whoooooooosh - Crack'

"Yes m'am, I know, it's the whip and crop for me."

"Oh no, the whip was just to get your attention. I… instead… have something really special in mind for you as the whole punishment enchilada," came the smug reply.

"You mean? Oh no not that!" fear sounding in his rapidly rising voice.

"Yes….that. So come over here and let's get started."

"No mistress, anything but that? Please don't, I beg of you, not the bungee cords and the feather duster! Please, not that! Ahhhhhhh!"

"Now, as for Ron himself, after hearing that he should be interested in tonight's episode, he made plans to watch said episode. But the best laid plans of mice and men sometimes don't unfold as they should," commented Dr. Load.

The screen focuses on an early twenties Ron Stoppable settling on his couch with a huge bowl of popcorn in his lap and a large Slurpster on the table to his right. Ron has the TV controls in his right hand and is about to turn on his set. Rufus has setup shop on Ron's left thigh and is about to reach into the bowl of popcorn to retrieve some popped kernels, when he freezes, looking off to Ron's right. Standing straight up, he stiffens, eyes wide, jaw dropping; his body topples into the bowl in Ron's lap, spraying popcorn everywhere. To say the least, Ron is a bit perplexed and annoyed by what just happened.

"Rufus! What the heck is the matter with you? Why'd you seize up and fall into my popcorn?"

At this a little arm slowly raises out of the mound of popcorn and its little paw points to Ron's right. Ron turns his head in that direction as he continued talking to Rufus.

"What's… over….therrrrrrwwwWOW!," starts Ron, his voice trailing off as he turns to his right, and freezes at what he sees just at the edge of his den.

Standing in the doorway of their bedroom is his wife of several years, Kim Stoppable. That in itself would normally be a 'no big' as far as all present were concerned, but it was how she presented herself to her husband that made this encounter pretty much a, 'Woahhh, BIG!' in Ron's mind.

Wearing a light blue, totally sheer, see-through night gown that barely covered her assets, and topped off with an equally sheer cream top that just reached her upper thighs, was the seductively posed wife of a gawking, awestruck, heart-stopped Ron Stoppable. Looking at her in the low-lighting, Ron almost believed she had nothing on and the color she was wearing was some play of the lighting of the room.

Lightly made up, her face that of a Greek goddess, if Ron had ever seen one (that is if he ever remembered anything from his elective mythology class in college), with her hair brushed into a fuller display of her already full head of auburn hair, she was leaning into the left doorjamb on her left shoulder. With an extended right hand she was signaling to her husband with an upturned palm and a come-hither waggling of her index finger as she began to talk to her jaw-dropped, mute, frozen-in-place mate.

From her lips came the following soft singsong refrain: "Ro-on, why are you sitting there in the dark with a Naked Molerat in your lap? Wouldn't it be better if you came over here and helped me unwind from my work day instead?" as she gazed upon him, a smoldering look on her face.

"But, bluuh wahha wuhhh therasfasf pfffffttt. Whoa!."

"Rooonnn, reel in your tongue, close your mouth and stop drooling. Rufus is getting soaked in that bowl."

Shaking his head, Ron tries again to speak to his (WOW!) wife, "What I meant to say is what about tonight's episode? I heard from some friends that I definitely WANT to watch this one. They don't specifically know what this one is going to be about, but only say that they've learned that I should see it."

"Oh, Ron," Kim sighed after taking in a very large, chest expanding breath of air, "What are you going to consider more important right now, some little ole '_Twilight Zone'_ episode that is probably being Tivo'd anyway, or helping your anxious, extremely hot and bothered, sexy wife relax after a long day working to save the world with her hottie hero-husband-soul mate-partner?" came the breathy, husky question from the minx-like Kim of Ron's most black-hole destined of dreams.

"Let me see, what to do, what to do? Watch TV. Help smokin' hot, gorgeous, sexy wife unwind. Hmmm, such the dilemma," replied Ron as he weighed each concept in his hands, rising and falling as they would as a balancing scale.

"Ok, see you in 30 minutes."

'Whap' "Ow, I was just kidding! You didn't have to throw your bunny slipper at me! I was kidding," came from the much chagrinned husband, tossing the TV controls over his shoulder, barely missing Rufus there on the couch ('Hey!' 'Sorry, buddy.'), as he chased Kim into their bedroom.

"Well, you forced me into it. You obviously don't have your priorities straight when it comes to making decisions about the care and well-being of your poor deprived wife," returned the pouting, slighted party, in a little girly-voiced whine.

"Well then, please: let me make it up to you," said Ron as he slowly closed the door to the bedroom while moving to his blushing bride, slipping an arm around her waist as he pulled her closer to him. Her arms going up and around his shoulders as they closed in for the first of many kisses, and more, much more, that night.

The scene blanks out again as Dr. Load starts talking beside the screen.

"The one shot Ron Stoppable had to learn the truth of the root-cause of the basest of his fears, except for monkeys, little bugs, Steve Barkin, cafeteria lady, the gravy ghost, Camp Wannaweep, and… well you know the rest, he had to pass on it to take care of the rigors of home life with his BFF for life. From the exchange we have just witnessed, I can guarantee he won't suffer for having missed tonight's episode after all. Though, just in passing, shooting that commercial with Ron and that elf, was priceless!"

"In closing, I'd just like to mention that one of the hallmarks of Ron Dean Stoppable has been that when he had his suspicions about something he termed 'miles of bad road', he was rarely off the mark. In this case I'd absolutely have to say that this time he was, definitely, onto something."

"From everyone here at _**The Twilight Zone**_ I bid you all goodnight."

(With that, Dr. Load fades out of view, the screen going dark.)


	3. Commercial

**KP-TZ - The Middleton Files: **_**Maybe he was on to something**_

Disclaimer/Author's Notes: _**Kim Possible**_ and all the characters of the show are owned by the Walt Disney Corporation. _**The Twilight Zone**_ was created by Rod Serling; all rights to _**The Twilight Zone**_ are owned by Viacom. All other characters are the creations of the TZ2-KP team, and may not be used without their express permission.

This is a strictly not-for-profit effort

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(Commercial)

(The scene opens with Kim & Ron Stoppable attempting to check into the _Las Vegas, Las Vegas_ hotel in, where else, Las Vegas, Nevada. There seems to be some issues with checking into the hotel as Kim is in a discussion with the dark blue Zoot-suited Jilly from Jersey, the check-in clerk, while conferencing with holo-Wade via her wrist Kimmunicator. Ron stands just off to Kim's right, holding several sheets of paper in his hands. Their luggage stacked to Ron's right.)

"Hey, chickie-baby, I'm telling ya that I don't have any reservations for you and your husband in my check-in registry for today. Ring-a-ding-ding, maybe youse made a mistake! These things happen," Jilly stated while tipping his ever present sunglasses downward under his wide brimmed hat, glancing at Kim.

"If you call me chickie-baby one more time, I'll…" retorted a rapidly tweaking Kim Stoppable.

"Now, Kim, please amp down. We're here to take some time off and relax. I know this isn't the best way to start off this little vacation, but maybe we can get to the bottom of this. Right Kim, right Wade?" said Ron, quickly stepping in to be the peacemaker in the sitch.

"Ok Ron, I'll amp down. Now Wade, I'm sure that what Ron and I requested from that online travel agency, what was the name again, Ron?"

"'Zippy-Trip', that online company with that, ugh, elf for a mascot, KP," replied Ron as he shuddered quite heavily next to Kim.

"That's right, Ron, 'Zippy-Trip', thank you. But you don't need to freak out about the mascot, Ron, it's an elf, not a, well you know."

"I know that KP. It's just that that elf seems so close to that cursed garden gnome that I had problems with most of my life," replied Ron.

"No big, Ron, it'll be ok. Look, no gnomes here: see?" consoled Kim as she put a hand on his shoulder to reassure him, as she waved her other hand about the lobby.

Continuing, "Yeah Wade, that's the name. 'Zippy-Trip' guaranteed that by using their online agency there would be no issues with checking into this hotel or with the accommodations we requested for a nice long weekend vacation away from work or missions. Now it seems that they are unable to find our reservations, the place is nearly packed, and none of the remaining rooms are suitable for what either of us need to relax and unwind here," sighed the frustrated leader of Team Possible.

"Well, you could have avoided this if you had asked me to help you with all of this in the first place," replied the tech-guru of the team.

"I know, I know, but there was nothing we could do about that. Ron and I came up with the idea to do this a couple of days ago. When we tried to contact you, we learned that you were on a retreat in Montana, with no way to contact you, so we decided try this on our own," lamented the frustrated redhead.

"Yeah, and Zippy-Trip is highly recommended by many of the groups that rate that sort of thing and by people we've talked to about travel arrangements over the last couple of years," commented Ron. "I just don't know what the problem with our reservations could be."

"Wait a minute, all. Let me look at the contract we printed and the hotel computer's reservation registry, maybe there's something amiss in there," suggested Kim.

In looking over the two items, Kim's eyes brighten as a grin appears on her face, and then says to all who are taking part in this discussion: "Here's the problem. The reservations were made in the names of Ronald D. and Kimberly A. Stoppable, and somehow the hotel only has us listed as Ronald and Kimberly Stoppable. All that was missing was our middle initials; everything else is identical."

"Well, if that's all it was, then I can start processing your check-in right now," replied Jilly. "Now if youse guys would produce your contract and two forms of ID, we can start this little show of yours.. Ok, ok, I wasn't going to call you that again, alright?" came Jilly's defensive reply to Kim's glare and sudden switch to an attack stance.

But before she can say anything, there is a rush of air and a small elf-like creature suddenly swooshes into the room and sets up just off to the right side of the check-in desk. Made of solid plaster, upon his head covering his light red 'hair' was a green curled 'cap', his 'jacket' was also green, his 'pants' yellow and his curled toe 'shoes' were red. His 'face' was cherubic and pink, with a mischievous smile on it. All present, whether in the room or on the Kimmunicator, turn in surprise toward the sudden appearance of this 'creature of myth' that suddenly zipped into the room.

"Sorry for the delay, it is I, the 'Rambling Elf', troubleshooter par excellence, from Zippy-Trip'. I just heard about your situation from the online travel service. I came as fast as I could after helping correct an issue in San Francisco where a participant in a mime convention had problems checking due to the lack of a mime-translator. All better, now," came the slightly British-accented voice of the 'elf'.

"Now then, what seems to be the problem, and what can I do to help correct it?" continued the travel agency mascot/troubleshooter.

At this, all eyes in the room, including those of Wade's from the Kimmunicator hologram turn, as one person, to Ron standing between Kim and the elf. At the moment he is calmly standing beside Kim with no visible signs of trouble, other than a slight widening of his eyes, being so close to a 'cousin' of the garden gnome. That being the case, I'll continue with the conversation, now joined by the elf.

"Well, now there are no problems with this check-in. It turned out to be an issue with confusion over the names on the contract and those listed in the hotel registry, but that has been corrected," replied Kim as Ron has begun to visibly shake.

"If that is all, then my work here is done. Once again helping another customer of 'Zippy-Trip' on their way to another happy, trouble free experience, is my pleasure," returned the Rambling Elf. Ron is now going pale and shaking very badly.

"Ahhhhhh, evilgnomeevilgnomeevilgnomeevilgnome!" comes screaming out Ron's mouth as he throws the paperwork into the air, stumbles over and through the luggage near him, and starts running, hands-in-the-air, panic-stricken around the lobby as all present watch him race around.

"I beg your pardon! I'm not a gnome, I happen to be an Elf! I explained earlier that I am not a gnome. They are distant cousins of ours, but I assure you I am NOT a gnome!" replied the indignant mythical creature.

"Same difference! Evilelfevilelfevilelfevilelfevilelfevilelfahhhhhh!" retorted Ron as he made his third lap around the lobby, running over the furniture there, before heading off, hands wildly waving about, into the hotel towards the showrooms and out of sight.

Kim is standing with her head in her hands while shaking it back and forth, Jilly's mouth is hanging open, eyes wide as he watches the frantic blonde race around his lobby and Wade is also about as incredulous as Jilly while watching as well.

"Hmph, if that is all, I have to go. There's a problem with someone who used our services and is checking into a hotel in Hot Springs, Arkansas. Something about a former politician checking in with someone other than his wife, while his wife is chasing him with a softball bat," supplied the elf, "Thank you, again, for using 'Zippy-Trip'. And remember if you use 'Zippy-Trip' we're with you every step of the way."

"Another problem solved by 'The Rambling Elf! Tally-ho!" followed by the elfin-mascot zipping out of the lobby of Las Vegas, Las Vegas, with Kim, Jilly and holo-Wade watching Ron tear out through the hotel in a panic.

(Director) "Cut! Not bad, not bad. Now can someone please catch up to Ron and get him back here where we can calm him down?"


End file.
